Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
I have been having good days, bad days and in-between days. Days where I am just ready for it all to be over, and days where I wouldn't change my life for the world.
I feel incredibly lucky. Life has prepared me for this. I am no longer believe that the bad days will never end. I know now, if I just survive this day, the next one will come along. I know that every problem is surmountable, no matter how much I doubt myself.
It doesn't make the dark days any less dark, but it does make them a little easier to bear. That little word 'hope' encourages me to push on, and never give up. It sings a song in my heart, tells me that I have done this before, and I can, and will do it again. It reassures me that I have learnt enough so that this time, it will be easier. I know now that walking away can be a good thing, no matter how much pain you experience in the meantime. The very act of walking away can heal your heart like nothing else. Yes, it creates a new pain - but it will end - whereas staying means it will continue on.
One day at a time. One breath at a time. In, out.